Co-workers Can Turn a Dream Job into a Nightmare
How to Handle Negativism at Work, Even when it is Directed at You
May 1, 2009
It only takes one co-worker to make a dream job turn into a nightmare. Don't let anyone do that to you, or your work environment.
Co-Worker Tries to Pass the Buck on a Bad Review
Q) I have a co-worker who was recently given a very negative review. She was given the opportunity to respond and is putting together an answer to the supervisor’s complaints. My problem is that she is not only responding to the criticism but she is trying to “throw me under the bus.” She keeps asking me about projects that I was involved in to show me in a negative light. For instance, I just started with this company a year ago. I came into a department with no previous knowledge of what they did and six months later was selected to be a part of a committee doing a fee study. My supervisor told me that he would like me to sit in to learn the process, from the beginning, so that the next fee study we did, I would have experience with it.
From the beginning, the co-worker was very angry that I was selected over her and didn’t hesitate to share her feelings with all of our other co-workers (and even customers). She is also including other instances where the supervisor chose me to be a part of projects so that I could gain experience that she already had. I feel completely uncomfortable to be stuck in the middle of her complaints. What should I do? I don’t want to be stuck between my co-worker (and bosses, who I get along with) and I don’t want to be included in a letter of complaint because of circumstances beyond my control. I feel stressed to come to work and deal with my co-worker; she keeps asking me questions about my involvement in various department projects (to show she is being outcast and retaliated against, due to a former complaint against our boss) and I am tired of answering her questions, especially since I know it is to show I am the weaker of the two of us.
Any suggestions?
Keep Positive and Keep to the Truth in all Situations
A) You have done well to understand the situation is not about you, but can still come back and hurt your chances with this company. It sounds like you have a great job, and mostly understanding co-workers and bosses who see potential and act on it. They also allow those with a poor performance to either hang themselves or climb up the rope – which is what has happened to your negative co-worker. She is obviously very jealous of your ability and focussng on that instead of how to improve herself.
The problem is NOT you, it is her – and it did not start when you were hired. This worker obviously has proven in the past to not be reliable; hence the company's decision to give you more responsibility. Yes, you are right, she is trying to throw blame on others rather than accept the fact she needs to learn to do her job properly. Complaining to customers is a first-class ticket to a pink slip.
You are Only in the Middle if You Think You Are
Understand though, that even if she names you in her complaint, that does not mean you are part of the complaint. Do NOT answer any more of her questions. Tell her if she wishes to discuss your responsibilities or duties on any future, present or past projects that she must ask your boss for that information, as you are not at liberty to discuss any projects due to company confidentiality.
Let your bosses know this as well – just state it in a memo, or ask for five minutes of their time. Be brief and do not complain about the worker; just say you are not comfortable sharing any company information with anyone that is not involved in the projects as you want to ensure company confidentiality. You don't owe her anything, so why allow yourself to be put in the middle? You were hired to get the job done, whatever that job entails. You did not ask for projects not to be given to her – so stop thinking you are in the middle – that is another tactic used by her to try and gain control over you.
Remember, this situation was happening long before you came on the scene; the company is documenting everything and giving her chances – which she only sees as negative. Yes, the company is also documenting everything and fully intend to fire her if she does not get her act together. Instead of trying to answer the bad review with more complaints and negativism she should be showing how she can learn from it and do better for the next time.
Keep Your Head High
If you can, stay as far away from this worker as possible. If she persists in asking you questions, tell her your job is not her concern, and you refuse to answer her questions. Keep positive – she will not be there for much longer if she continues with her tirade.
Bottom Line
Negative co-wokers can really dampen the work environment, but even worse when they target you. Stay positive, and stay as far away as possible. You do NOT have to answer questions unless it pertains to the project you both are working on. Don't allow yourself to be put in the middle – you were hired to do a job, not talk about your projects to a co-worker.
**Note - all letters are reprinted as received (typos and grammatical) but names and other identifying details are deleted.
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